“Words, how little they mean,
When you’re a little too late.”
– Taylor swift
I would like to say everything’s okay,
But it’s not.
Time is taking it’s sweet time erasing you,
I keep wondering if I’ve ever felt this empty,
This dull, this numb.
I keep wondering when it’s going to end.
Because I’m miserable.
It sucks when someone you haven’t gotten over, has moved on and you haven’t.
I keep wondering when my time is coming,
When my time runs out,
Because it’s almost unbearable to be here.
All I do is lay down and stare.
At the ceiling,
At the white that’s fading,
The fan that shakes,
Wondering if it will fall.
All while listening to every sad song on my phone.
And going to bed,
Waking up crying from demons that look like you.
I just sit in class, staring,
Thinking of ways of numbing the pain,
Maybe I want to be sad,
Maybe I want to be broken,
Maybe I want to be saved,
Maybe I want someone to show me that they care.
Maybe that will be enough for me.
It’s only a year and a few months left,
And I’m leaving,
And I won’t tell,
Where I am or who I’m with,
And maybe, just maybe,
I’ll be happy that way.
And hopefully I’ll stick it out till then.
“You said you didn’t wanna see me cry,
but I’ll pretend that I’m alright,